I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
