All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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