no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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