We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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