At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The air was thick with penises
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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