I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
