Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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