ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
