he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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