You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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