its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
