Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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