You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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