I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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