I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
