And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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