idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
