I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
