sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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