I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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