Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
