I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
