what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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