I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i now understand why vodka
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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