so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
