Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's never too late to be topless.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
