You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
