I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
