The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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