Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
