I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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