Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
