her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
