I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
