I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
