Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
