I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
