Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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