You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
