i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
