I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
