I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We had to coat check the pizza.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
