Cold hands, warm shart.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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