In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
