He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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