okay pat passed out under dana's car
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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