I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
