STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
