Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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