yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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